The Unspoken Social Rules of Smoking Weed

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hemp flowercigarettes, pre rolls, vapesSmoking is a great thing. It brings people together and helps them to bond while they are in a “higher” state of consciousness. However, certain unspoken social rules do exist whenever people get together for a good old Ganja sesh. Oftentimes the faux pas of a newbie smoker can unknowingly ruin everyone else’s high. For all you know, you may even be the one doing these annoying things and you don’t even know! If you suddenly find no one wants to smoke with you anymore, no worries! 😉 Consult your Ganja Etiquette guide and you will be well on your way to developing a certain modicum of ganja smoking civility.

The Social Rules of Smoking
#1. The person who rolls the joint(no matter whose weed it is) gets to spark up the joint and get first hit.
#2. Proper ganja etiquette will allow each person one full lungful inhalation per turn. Everyone should get a good hit before they pass it on rotation. The toker is also allowed to finish the chamber of smoke(carbed) on a second breath. If a person doesn’t get a good amount of smoke in a hit because of a cashed bowl, they’re allowed to smoke first(if going in order) from the new bowl.
#3. Don’t pack the bowl after you have packed it twice in a row. Smoking is a group effort.
#4. Don’t talk too much. There is nothing that will blow your high faster than someone who will not stop talking. Especially if they are complaining about their problems and bringing up negative bullshit. No one wants to hear all that while they are so high they can touch the sky.
#5. Watch your lips and wet mouth. If smoking from a joint/blunt/pipe/bong/ whatever, never put the whole thing in your mouth and get it all sopping wet. It is disgusting and it messes up the joint.  Getting a blunt/joint/pipe/whatever  that is drenched in saliva after you hit it is one of the worst things  you  can possibly do. When other fellow  tokers  observe  this  it  is  a  sure sign of  a newbie and also very gross. Don’t do it.
#6. If someone rolls a nice joint, it’s good to give the person a complement on his rolling skills.
#7. If someone stars bogarting the bowl and stars using the excuse that it’s okay for him to Bogart it since it’s his weed; this is definitely not cool. The punishment depends on the quality of the weed and how much he put in(if it was real crappy and he was real cheap with it, then you bug on the person and rag on him).
#8. If someone is too palsy to light the bowl(due to being too stoned or the person is just a retard) then they must relinquish control of the lighter to someone more able to get it lit. This does NOT mean the person who lights gets free hits… this privilege tends to get abused(“hey lemme light it for you.”)
#9. If someone is so much of a dipshit that they blow INTO the pipe/joint and blow all the goods on the floor, this person must be ragged on and the person can’t smoke on the next round(unless of course it was his stuff).
#10. If you smoke with someone in your house, you should let him or her eat some tasty munchies you may have lying around… Always be a  good hospitable host; don’t be cheap with your food.
#11. Share your thirst quenching icy beverages. Outward exposure of this fine indulgence is just too tempting. If someone who has smoked asks for a sip of your soda, you must give him some(cotton mouth is never fun and always ruins a good time).
#12. The Converse of #11: if you ask for a sip from someone elses fine drink, don’t take a large chug.
#13. If you’re smoking from a bong and there is not enough in the bowl for a whole other hit, you should save the smoke in the chamber for the next person. (Don’t let go of the carb and take it all yourself. Never a cool thing).
#14. Never bogart.
#15. Never bitch about someone else’s weed being no good. If you don’t like it then don’t smoke it!
#16. Do not be a vibe killer. If everyone is enjoying the current track, do not get up to change it. Furthermore; the person who supplied the bud picks the music.
#17. When passing a blunt ALWAYS ash first. There is no worse occurrence over the course of a stoners day than when friends don’t ash and they pass a blunt to you with a ton of ash on the end that is just waiting to fall right onto your Legalize It t-shirt.
#18. Do not turn down a smoke. Ever.
#19. Don’t cough like you are choking on a steel-wool hairball. Everyone coughs a little bit and that is perfectly OK but if you’re sitting there coughing up a freaking lung, pass the blunt and go get some water or something.
#20. Do not bring up shitty discussion topics, such as self-righteous religious fanaticism, stupid drama or boring politics. There are certain things that you should and shouldn’t talk about while high.
#21. If you buy weed from a friend or a friend of a friend, it is polite and  socially acceptable to roll a joint(a small one, if you wish), and smoke with the person who sells you the stuff.
#22. It is very impolite to hand someone an empty bowl, without notifying   that person of its possible cashed-ness. A proper warning would be ‘Hey here ya go. I think it might be cashed.’
#23. Take your hit, let the blunt go and pass it. People are waiting. We can gather round for storytime sure, as long as the  blunt  is  still  in  rotation  & you’re not animatedly using it as a stage prop to further illustrate your fable.
#24. The person who fills the bowl is given the opportunity to take the first hit. It doesn’t matter whose weed it is.
#25. Don’t constantly ask if everyone is high. Yes, we’re high. Now shut up.
#26. Always say thank you to the person who so generously got you high. Oftentimes too many people overlook this assuming it is an unspoken bond, but in reality it just looks tacky.
#27. When using a bong, NEVER blow out the ashes unless that is what the original glass piece owner does.
#28. Never drop in on your comrades expecting someone  to  catch  you  a buzz, unless you have been friends for a very long time. This is a surefire way to become ‘that guy’.
#29. If you spill the bong, actions speak louder than words. Clean it up, constantly apologizing isn’t helping – it happened. Be cool about it. It’s fine, as long as it didn’t break. Shit happens. And don’t forget to put water back in!
#30.When the roach gets too small, if someone has a problem with it, it is common courtesy here to put the roach in a bowl and finish it that way.
#31. Don’t roll pinners.
#32. Do not act like you are not high. If you aren’t high then why are you over there here wasting everyones weed
#33. The opposite of the latter. Don’t excessively ramble  on  about  how stoned you are. Complimenting how dank the kush is is perfectly fine, but it stars to lose its touch around the 34th time.
#34.  DO NOT mess up rotation. EVER. You have to make sure that the blunt is in constant motion. Moving from one person to the next, seamlessly. Do not cause pandemonium and stress amongst the inner-circle.
#35. If a friend gets you high sometime in the future – your priorities have just shifted; you now need to get that friend high.
#36. Don’t mess up the dutch. Learning how to twist up a blunt is something that you should research and practice on your own dime. If you have big groups and you attempt to twist up but you mess up the blunt, that’s a huge fail. If you aren’t confident with how you twist up, then just don’t do it.
#37. Always bring an extra lighter. A full one.
#38. Never steal/forget it was in your pocket/lose lighters. We may be stoned but we all know you had it last.
#39. The bong *and* lighter should be smoothly passed onto the next stoner. The veteran stoner will extinguish the bowl so that no bud is wasted for the next person.
#40. A wise bowl-packer will know that quantity is not quality. The law of diminishing returns means that after a few good hits additional hits will just waste pot and put people to sleep. Wait awhile and then offer a “refresher” bong hit once everyone’s buzz stars to wear off.
#41. While stoners can be obnoxious, they are all too often labelled as “bad stoners”. This unfairly derisive term means that a stoner acts like a weirdo  while stoned. It’s very uncool to blame some stoner’s goofy behaviour on the fact that he/she’s stoned because it’s too easy to make a stoner self- conscious(and that sucks!) It’s way better to allow  everyone  to  enjoy  the herb in their own way and try not be too judgmental of others. The best attitude to have is to relax and enjoy the company and the surroundings. Bud is finicky that way – every experienced stoner knows that you should be in a good mood when stoning.
#42. Do not bring other friends around, or yourself, who smoke but don’t throw in their share of cash. You have to contribute if you are going to hit the blunt.
#43. NEVER pinch the bag. This is a fersure way to get completely ostracized out of any social circle. Sadly lots of people do it, and yes, even your good friends.

10 thoughts on “The Unspoken Social Rules of Smoking Weed”

  1. Some of this seems pretty snobby. other than that, some need a “*” and write an exemption to certain rules

  2. The only thing I don’t see is like “Weird Tv.” You know weird shit happens when you’re high and you wonder, would this be the same if I wasn’t high? LOL

    1. i disagree… if someone is talking a lot and is parking the joint, someone has to remind him to pass it on.
      this was never a ‘Golden rule’

    2. Agh… We all know that one guy who takes 60000 puffs, and if someone ‘dares’ to ask him to pass the joint, he will give you the dirtiest looks. Nobody likes that guy.

  3. What this shit about passi g the bong when its still full. Finish the cone you pussy ass Americans

  4. I have a question…..is it impolite to smoke your last bowl and not share with anyone except for your significant other?

    1. only if the people you’re with are dicks, if I was smoking with you I’d understand

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